Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Friday, July 15, 2011

Just me...


In this world, you have to protect yourself, you cant have someone to save you. you have to be strong, no one can be for you. everyone can support you, be there for you, but cant do things for you to make you strong. only you can do that. Become strong, confident about yourself only then can you survive. There is no place for the weak. No one will be there if you are too weak to make yourself stand for what is right and what is yours.
Even though you may be suffering, a single person's support can bring you out of the pit's of darkness and i thank god i had four.
My suffering may not be much but that specific period of my life, i had given up. i had lost all hope, all reason. But i found a reason, i found the support and every bit of confidence. If not, i would have shattered. i am grateful but my feelings are suppressed, i can no more show my true self at most times but for all that have helped me, you are my reason to live.

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Thursday, July 29, 2010

LIES!

i was as usual walking in my colony and thinking since i like do that and listen to music just to get out of the reality and my thoughts always r vagur and random....today while i was walking i realized how i never go and walk outside my colony and m stuck in the colony....going in the same route everyday and dere is no change at all....just like my life...!!
its movement is a straight line and not hazy.....no misc-en-scene is present in my life....

my life is very usual in other ppl's eye....dey just cant see or knw beyond a point or d lie i show them!!

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Legion review

Today I saw the movie legion....well as usual the expectations from the movie was way high...but after I saw the movie I was very disappointed...the only scenes worth watching were already shown in the trailer thus leaving an empty movie for the viewers. btw...the movie was too dark and the special effect had no effect!!
Anyways I still sat through the whole movie thinking it just might get better and it kind of doesn't. The movie was quick up to the point but some facts like:
Fact no.1: why the people inside the diner couldn’t be possessed unlike every human outside.
Fact no.2: when the whole diner is burned down by a small lighter (since the scene doesn't show the gas is open) and the blast was so high that it blasted every possessed person standing outside.
Fact no.3: if Gabrielle could not be killed in the fire then why would he try to run away? If he did, and were scared to die then why didn't he since he was closest to the blast?
Fact no.4: how come the inscriptions were given to Jeep when Michael died? And even if they were thus when Michael returns, why aren't the inscriptions back on Michael? And aren't they supposed to make us understand what the inscriptions say than saying, ask a prophet! Which they don't in this movie.... I see a sequel in the future (damn!)
And there r many other facts which I really cant remember right now but I would love to know that if people make a movie, do they for once look at what they make? If they do, then how do they miss such crucial facts?

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

worth it!

know d worth of a person before u lose dem....sell dem!!
-Neptak

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Saturday, January 9, 2010

introverts....way of living one's life!

introvert have a different way of thinking and a way of looking at life the way others can't. for people to understand the concept of introvert is difficult, especially for parents to understand why their child have to be such an introvert and not socialize with the people. it's not the teenage attitude one has, its just that an introvert needs space and the lone time in which people's company is not required. i feel guilty when i have to let down down people for being an introvert but its the way i am, i cannot talk to every second person i meet. somethings that introverts need is their personal space and which is very necessary for people to understand and agree to.

i need alone time to think about the life and the world around me. people love introverts when they talk, people actually want to listen as they are very knowledgeable and insightful people though i don't think i am an introvert of that sort as my knowledge for things want to stay hidden. even though i might know the answer i wont reply to the question. knowledge for the real world is not as that of an introvert should be. novels, cartoons, movies, songs are the perfect escape root to another world, away from the reality.

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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Its NOT the memoirs of a geisha!!

Today i had my worst nightmare ever...wait, it was far too painful, it was reality. i wasnt dreaming, it wasn't a nightmare, it actually happened. The reality struck me so much that it has crushed my virtues. if my parents only knew about this reality, they would be over protective. realities like such doesn't let one remain a girl, the innocence is shaken and torn into pieces.
To tell you about my reality, a monster came to me. he was a monster in human form and all he did was touched my body, but somehow it wasn't just my body, it was my soul which was destroyed in this process.
After the monster had scared me in every way he could, i was left alone but i couldn't understand what had happened with me just moments ago because the monster had asked me to make a promise and to keep a secret which i did.
As i grew i understood what the monster did was cruel, and inhuman. i wept alone, to scared to tell any one. i hated being the victim and hated every part of my body which i did not consider as mine anymore. i cried for my loved ones to save me from every touch and from every moment that i spent with the monster.
if i told anyone, they wouldn't even believe me because the monster became a stranger in front of others and acted like a saint who could never even sin. in front of others, he loved me and cared like i was his little child. the monster was just known by me, the cruel molester and the killer of a child's innocent soul..
because of him i lost my faith in myself and every person around me. some incidents can change life's perspective, well it did change mine.
it is said, whatever happens, happens for a reason. i see none from any side. i tried my best to see all sides but none could show me the good reason for such happening.
this incident made me at least understand people inside out, about their nature and how filthy some can be. my intuitions have made me strong and i can find the right and wrong for myself easily.
my parents screamed at me and shouted for i am ill mannered as i was growing up. thy scolded me that i didn't talk to the monster a.k.a. saint in front of them, with proper manners while he came to met us. but what should i reply for my ill mannered behavior that the reason is because he molests me? i don't want my parents to go through the mental torture. telling them i have encountered the worst incident of my life would break them.
so much so, i have become numb of their scoldings. i suffered so much pain that i don't even mind hurting someone Else's feeling. i am not being a sadist but i can't cry, not much tears are left. later on, after i loose someone dear to me, i curse and shed out a few tears for their farewell but at the end, they are just wiped out and i just think that tears always come and make myself stronger in the wrong sense.
i fought with him, blackmailed him of telling everyone which actually scared him, opposite of what i had thought. sharing my secret with my loved ones did hurt them but it made me stand against the wrong.
respecting a monster who murdered my soul was next to impossible but with time i learned to forgive him if he stayed away. i did forgive him for my self satisfaction that i don't need a grudge to carry on with my life by hating him for his deeds. i was sick of the crying, moaning and feeling pain.
Forgiving has made my will power stronger and has made me stronger.

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